... But I Don't Want To Talk About Her

Austen

I write poetry

Romance, usually

I’m very romantic

(Laughs)

Wait, I’m tough too

A romantic, tough guy

Yeah, sorta like rock hudson…

But straight.

This one time, I wrote a poem for my ex-girlfriend

She said

That’s the best thing I’ve ever read

And she reads poets, yet

Yates, cummings, you name it

She’s got all these guys bouncing round her head

Marcie

She sounds great

Austen

She has an insight that could win a pulitzer prize

There’s in genius in her mind that truly sparkles through her eyes

She’s so smart, to be near make’s your intelligence rise…

But, I don’t want to talk about her

So, uh, what do you do?

Marcie

I’m a photographer.

Austen

Wow, okay. What kind of stuff do you do?

Marcie

I try to capture the beauty of the human spirit.

Austen

Speaking of beauty, that reminds me of my ex-girlfriend

Oh, she was gorgeous, but she never really knew it

She had this smile, I swear to god

You were blessed if you had one chance to view it

She had a look that could inspire symphonies

Or cause the most stubborn men to have epiphanies

She was as enchanting as hepburn in breakfast at tiffany’s…

But I don’t want to talk about her

Marcie

So, you have an ex-girlfriend?

Austen

Ugh, I don’t want to talk about her.

Marcie

Oh, right, sorry. There’s some things I don’t want to talk about either.

Austen

Like what?

Marcie

I don’t want to talk about the fact that I

Can’t seem to find a single guy

Who meets all my desires

Austen

That’s fine. Maybe we could talk about…

Marcie

I don’t want to talk about how many men

Have claimed that they would be the one

And it turns out they’re all liars

Austen

Now, marcie…

Marcie

I don’t want to talk about the day when I

Experimented with my girlfriend

And I almost came out

Austen

We can talk about that if you really want to.

Marcie

But there’s always something missing

Now matter where I search

But, that’s not what I want to talk about

Austen

Oh, man… you’re kind of a whiner.

Marcie

I’m sorry, but wasn’t it you who spent the first half of this conversation talking about your ex-girlfriend?

Austen

How dare you bring up the topic of my ex-girlfriend?!

Marcie

Yeah, but you were the…. What?!

Austen

Who is gorgeous and brilliant, by the way.

Marcie

Yeah, I heard.

Austen

You know, I’m trying not to think about it and you throw it in my face?!

Marcie

Throw it?!

Austen

Now I’m all upset, and it’s the fifteenth time today

Marcie

Less than I would’ve guessed.

Austen

I’m not the type who runs or hides

Marcie

I see.

Austen

I follow my plan

Follow my guides

Marcie

No matter how misguided they may be

Austen

You’re wrong.

I know we’ll be together

Forever

Besides

I don’t want to talk about her

Marcie

Obviously.