This Time (feat. Keith Fontano)

I let somebody in, and then it killed me

Sometimes I hate that I always feel things

'Cause everything I care for is always leaving

Me and my heart need to have a meeting, look

Fighting all the demons that are living in my mind

Can't be looking back, when you leave it all behind

Coulda, woulda, shoulda, yeah, I hear it all the time

I got so much to say, but all I say is: Nevermind

So let me let you in for a couple of minutes

Praying to God like: Could you give me a minute?

Forgive me for the ways that I've been living

I said that I'd be different, I know you don't see a difference, but

You gave me this life, I'm just playing the cards

Every time I pray, I don't know where to start

Grocery shopping, never filling the cart

There's food for thought, I need food for the heart, yeah

Got my hoodie up, earphones all in

I didn't go to work, I hardly call in

Told my mom: Look, I gotta be all in

Friends hit me up like: When we ballin'?

The girl I used to love, we're hardly talkin'

'Cause I'm locked and I'm chasing a dream, sleepwalkin'

I'm lost in the fact that money's just costin' me

This the life that I need, all this ink that I bleed

Is to paint you a picture they don't want you to see

That they don't want you to be, to find the happier things

Money, clothes, women all material things

Will walk out and leave, but one day you'll see

Tryna find my way on this one-way street

Staring at this road like it's you and me

I'm not gonna run this time

From what I've buried deep inside

It's time I left it all behind

So I won't, I won't, I won't

Run this time

I love you more to how you been?

Same feelings every time again

Said we'd stay friends, but we ain't friends

Yeah, come on now, really man, it feels so silly

You feel that you get me, but you don't really get me

You don't wanna talk, you think you know what I'm feeling

Oh you keep it a hundred? Okay, I'll keep it a milli

You lost out, and I'm copin'

Tryna hang these feelings, but I'm roped in

When I say I'm heartless, I ain't jokin'

Why do I keep something with me that's broken?

Losing my patience, I'm out of it

Bringing up things that I've done like I'm proud of it

Making myself, can you tell that I'm adamant?

Christmas is coming and I'm wanting all of it

If you don't get it now, you gotta get it yourself

Nobody thought I would be here, nobody thought I would sell

I look at myself, only one thing I can tell

If I could be anybody, it'd be nobody else

24/7 I'm lookin' for heaven, I wonder, am I doin' enough?

You give us this freedom to we do what we want—and this sin is just put in our cups

So tell me what I'm supposed to do, show me what I'm supposed to see

'Cause seems like everybody knows who I am and the kind of person I'm supposed to be

Finding myself in a world that is lost, my back has been living on walls

Gripping this mic like it's all that is left, without music I'm nothing at all, 'cause

I'm not gonna run this time

From what I've buried deep inside

It's time I left it all behind

So I won't, I won't, I won't

Run this time

I'm a waiter waiting on tables

Waiting for tables to turn

You live and you learn

In this life it ain't about the money that you made

But what did you earn

Did you give love or did you take it

When she said: I love you, did you break it?

When she started to cry, did you face it?

When you broke her heart, did you replace it?

Looking back at my past, I'm regretting a lot of it

All in my head, I've been tryna get out of it

Losing myself just to find who I am

Taking a leap just to find where I stand

Getting impatient, like when will I make it?

They tell me stop waiting, like go out and take it

Chasing a dream, but, like, what am I chasing?

Alone in my room, I've been constantly pacing

I look at myself and the things that I've said

Things I've let go, all the people I've kept

Investing in love, can you tell I'm in debt?

We fell so in love, like, did you forget?

Forget it, I'll pick up the mess and I'll leave it to rest

Close up the hole that you left in my chest

In love with a stranger, man, who would've guessed?

So I pick up this pen like it's all I got left

I'm not gonna run this time

From what I've buried deep inside

It's time I left it all behind

So I won't, I won't, I won't

Run this time