Living The Dream

Well I drink beer and I smoke pot

And I've thrown punches in a parking lot

I don't dance but damn, the girls still dance with me

I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive

I'm half in the bed by half past 5

Hell why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream

I'm a beer pong champ and a flip cup king

Who's no longer welcome at the Dairy Queen

No shoes, no shirt, no more dipped cones for me

I share wine and wisdom over microwave dinners

With the girl I date that I met on Tinder

I can't call her love but I can call her anytime I want (that's a booty-call)

'Cause I drink beer and I smoke pot

And I've thrown punches in a parking lot

I don't dance but damn, the girls still dance with me

I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive

I'm half in the bed by half past 5

Hell why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream

I throw parties on the weekend that are second to none

Brought to you in part by my college fund

Keg-stands, 40 hands and neighbors call the cops again

I only smoke when I drink (yup) but I drink everyday

My only worry in the world is getting myself laid

It's a damn near miracle I don't already have a kid

'Cause I drink beer and I smoke pot

And I've thrown punches in a parking lot

I don't dance but damn, the girls still dance with me

I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive

I'm half in the bed by half past 5

Hell why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream

'Cause I drink beer and I smoke pot

And I've thrown punches in a parking lot

I don't dance but damn, them girls they still dance with me

I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive

I'm half in the bed by half past 5

Now why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream

Well why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream