Have You Ever Danced With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight?

I've been searching for some questions found in questions

I don't know to ask

All bottled up inside my head and never making any sense

But now I understand

You see my thought process is buried deep beneath

A life of self-abuse

There's too much damage to rebuild

And what's left remains a shield to tame future use

And as the wagon rolls away I still march on...

My life is all a waiting game

Long waits to feel straight but it never stays

So doctor fill my forged prescription

Cause I'm addicted to addictions and blame

The past's still presently my home,

Which keeps recovery on hold

I'll escape this stranglehold somehow

Look into my eyes, past the lines,

And you'll see how desperate I am to see clear

I've tried I swear I've tried, to hide,

But when I stand to run I get headstrong and fall

Yeah I stand to fall

There's one more thing that I'd like to make clear

My words are nothing more than days

That I have lived and struggled through

Only to learn, that things will never change....