Twinkle

While you were asleep

Pulled my hood to block the light from the TV

Turned the volume up to distract me from constant noises

Leaking under the apartment door

It doesn't help

I get up and I crawl out and don't hear more

Make a barricade of full trash bags and empty boxes

Perched behind them, closely watching

While you were asleep

On the couch, watching a movie, smoking weed

Rummaging through the utensils in the kitchen counter,

In the drainer, which one's sharper.

When the light creeps in

loosen my grip and crawl back into my bed.

Your alarm is set to go off in a half an hour.

Eyes closed. Fake snore. None the wiser.

Victoria made me happy

Now I can only be scared

And people tell me that time can fix the wound.

But that's crap.

'Cause she's not coming back

And life's unfair.

I'm always anxious and worried.

I'm always freaked out and scared.

And people tell me that time can fix the wound.

But that's crap.

Vicki's not coming back.

And I scream, "Why did I get left behind?"

I know it's an exaggeration

to say I would rather die than

share this place with people capable

of inspiring such fear and hopelessness

that I'm frozen in my bed...

but that sums it up.

Teenage Halloween

Hot safety pins in nozzles of shaving cream

Spend the evening spraying cars, toilet papering houses

What's the harm in smashing pumpkins?

Decades on, with kids

And I don't let them go out past dark.

I sit on the front porch with a shotgun

While they're upstairs sleeping.

Total darkness.

Love. Protection.