Strength Thru Shopping

Monogrammed toilet paper rollers that sing

Ever wonder who would buy these things?

The ones with plastic Santas in their yards

And custom license plates no one understands

Strength thru shopping

What a thrill

Who cares, they were on sale

Save more buying nothing at all

But it's the art of the deal

Fake glasses so people think I'm smart

Fitness toys by mail, I think I used 'em once

Found a quicker way

To dazzle the boys and girls

Silicone implants for he-man lumpy arms

Strength thru shopping

Make my day

Obey the call of the consumer

Give me convenience

Or give me death

Before I choke on myself

My car stereo's so loud and big

There's hardly anywhere for me to sit

Or make room for an inflatable doll or three

So I can take the carpool lane

And pass toll-free

Took a paid vacation on a train

My camcorder never left my face

Only put it down to recharge

At home I'll play it back

And see just where we've gone

Strength through shopping everywhere

Am I possessed by my possessions?

Online I never leave my chair

No one screws me

Kuz I'm protected

I'm protected

I screw myself instead