Calm Down Too

The filkers are attacking our beautiful Technese

Complaining 'cause we talk out software anywhere we please

They're drowning in their filkzines so they've got a lot of nerve

I think another music program's just what they deserve

Calm down, it's only eighths and quarters

Calm down, it's only lines and staffs

Calm down and put it in assembly

It's not my fault I have a voice at which the world just laughs

They sit around for hours with guitars in every lap

The other filkers all applaud them even when it's crap

With rhymes and times and little chimes and dimes for jukebox play

I'd trade a hundred filkers for a mainframe any day

The filking faction's growing they're in consuites through the land

And some of the fanatic ones will write them on demand

I'd rather be a renegade and program all I can

And I don't care if they complain my programs never scan

I think I'll make a program to write some filks for me

And sing them in a pretty voice across my new T.V.

I'll set up in the corner of the filking in consuite

And if I do it well I'll make all filkers obsolete

Calm down, it's only words and music

Calm down, it's only notes and chords

Give up I'll never learn to sing it

If you persist I'll send you to your ultimate reward

I'd rather program any day than sit here being bored

I'll never have a voice unless it's programmed in and stored, oh no