Heaven-Con

There's a Hilton in the sky

For all the good fen when they die

The elevators never stick

The banquets don't serve plastic chicken

Only grade A prime

And you're guaranteed a real good time

That just goes on and on

If you're good enough to go to Heaven-Con

It's membership by invitation only

And all the hotel rooms and meals are comps

The wet-bar in the consuite is a freebie

And all femme-fen are ready for a romp

The bathtubs are all filled with girls and Jell-O

And every author waits your beck and call

They ask for your advice on their new novels

And ask for autographs out in the hall

There's a Hilton in the sky

For all the good fen when they die

The panels never start till three

No one disturbs you when you're sleeping

All the filk songs rhyme

And you're guaranteed a real good time

That just goes on and on

If you're good enough to go to Heaven-Con

There's mirrors on the ceiling in each bedroom

And 3-D videos on every wall

And levitators waiting at your elbow

For the times when you're too drunk to even crawl

The dealer's room extends eternal credit

They just forget to send the bills along

And when you make your way into the filkroom

You find you've been immortalized in song

There's a Hilton in the sky

For all the good fen when they die

The bidding parties never end

And all the other fen are friendly

Boredom is a crime

And you're guaranteed a real good time

That just goes on and on

If you're good enough to go to Heaven-Con