First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

I knew it was far too late to walk out on the lake then

Halfway to the middle thawed I wasn’t doing all that great

Had I cut my hair short?

Had I grown my beard out long?

Had I gone to school or?

Why do all my plans fall through?

There’s a leak in the basement

Stupid permanent estrangement

Casement windows need glazing

Hinges and arms need be replaced

All the way at the edge I said I think

That we should head back

What if now the ice cracked?

Think I felt it bend

We took opposite steps

Tried to even the stress

Picked a safe direction but

You never know the way the ice thins

Half-asleep in dreams where

Ceilings start collapsing

Free fall through the roof beams

Get startled back awake

Before you hit the pavement

Floor of the foundation

Water in the basement

Bodies in the lake

Don’t panic I could hear you saying as I fell through

Blackness complete down waiting till my feet touched ground

At the bottom they finally did

First reaction was this is it

Next thought was just stay calm kick up

And save your phone

Because I wanted to tell you

Because I thought you should know

Because I thought it might scare you

To see me under the ice

Make you remember you cared for me

What would you do if I died?

Would you fly out for my funeral?

Get too drunk at my wake?

Would you make a scene then?

Climb in and try to resuscitate me?

I was on the ice and I was underwater

I was getting pulled out, I was in my wet clothes

Stumble on the walk back, someone stoked the fire at camp

I was by the flames trying to get my body warm

I was standing naked checking to see if my phone still worked

I will cut my hair short

Trust me, I will

I will let my beard go

Trust me, I will

I will never tempt fate

Not once, I swear

I will never trust ice

I will never trust a thing