Ireland

PAULETTE

(spoken)

Elle, do you know the number one reason behind all bad hair decisions?

Love!

(sung) You're lost without your love

Your heart is on the floor

I can help you

I've been there before!

When I need to relax

I just put on some tracks

From this CD I bought for the store

(Celtic chanting)

(spoken) Isn't that relaxing? It's called CELTIC MOODS!

(sung) When I'm lonely or feeling dejected

I play this and it never fails

I pretend like I'm in Ireland

With Enya and the whales

When my telephone gets disconnected

Or I spend every night alone

I pretend like I'm in Ireland

Where the Irish bagpipes drone

Smell the grass as a rainstorm is endin'

People smile while I stroll past their farms

With a redheaded sailor named Brendan

And we dance without moving our arms

In a bar once I met this guy Dewey

And he bought me like 14 beers

And he told me that he was from Ireland

So I lived with him 10 years

If I squinted he looked like my sailor

Through my boozy delusional fog

But he dumped me for some slut named Kayla

Took my trailer and took my dog

In Ireland they know how to love you

You embrace in the misty Irish breeze

And if your Irish boy tires of you

You're allowed to shoot him in the knees

Hey, you look like that poster for Ireland

Long blonde hair and the sweet sunny face

Oh no wait that's the poster for Sweden

Oh screw it. I'll never see either place!

But a girl sweet as you has a future

You have hope as each new day dawns

Girls like you always get to see Ireland

Give my love to the leprechauns