The Chemical Divorce

And I can't count how many times before

I got lost in the wreckage of my past

But this time, I'll realize

And say goodbye to my idle mind

And i had a bad dream tonight, and I panicked

I wake up in a familiar pool of sweat

One day at a time

They say how it goes

But for me I'll never know

Transforming every belonging

Into a temporary feeling

I can make everything I ever owned

Vanish in front of your eyes

In a cloud of smoke

I'm a liar, I'm a cheat

I'm everything bad there is in between

Everything good I've ever done in my life has gone away

I'm miserable, I'm depressed

And I can't figure out a way to push this off my chest

And even with every boring day I have clean

I can't find a way to completely fix me

So convince me

But I'm not a bad guy,

I'm just terribly sick

I really don't want to lie

But it feels like the only way

I know to live

But I want better for myself

I just want to be sheltered

From the storm

I want to escape these chains

But I just can't find the key

To my insanity

(God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference)

Please find me

And I'm hurting

I can't forget

The taste, the feeling

Being too numb to regret

But when I look in her eyes

It all goes away in the end

And I'm tired

But I can't sleep

I spend my nights

Living inside bad dreams

And when I wake up

Every problem I left

Is still there

And bigger than it had been before

I can't do this alone anymore

And I cried out for help

I'm desperate

I've fallen again

In this private hell

You held out your arms

You whispered

It's okay

Come home

And you took me out

Of the dark

And convinced me

I'll be okay

And I'm sober

I'm finally clean

I put my past

So far behind me

And I don't ever want to look back in my life

No, never again

I survived the unthinkable

I hold back tears, and I take a grateful breath of fresh air

And with every, precious day I have clean

I can't say enough

How much better you've made me