A Desperate Resolution

"Don't get your hopes up,"

said the people I trust.

More easily said than done.

It's been a hard lesson.

There's something wrong

when one becomes

reluctant to fall in love,

when one's own blood

stands, pointing the gun.

My helplessness is a vicious cycle,

causing frustration that debilitates.

One is truly paralyzed when one sees that time

has begun to move too fast and too slow all at once.

And I can't determine whether it happened

gradually or immediately,

but my own weakness is now apparent to me.

Every day, everyone lies

even if they don't realize.

So, go ahead and decide.

Focus your eyes on mine,

tell me everything I'd die

to hear after all this time.

You'll just change your mind.

And guilty conscience drives

you to justify your actions,

then criticize mine.

Fool me twice.

I'm ashamed to find

these hopes have gotten so high.

Always half-expecting your story to change.

Give me your word, then rescind.

Spit my confessions back in my face.

Nothing replaces trust like total control.

My helplessness is a vicious cycle,

causing frustration that debilitates.

One is truly paralyzed when one sees that time

has begun to move too fast and too slow all at once.

And I can't determine whether it happened

gradually or immediately,

but my own weakness is now apparent to me.

Fathers and heroes may make promises they cannot keep.

But for the sake of continuing my life, I will promise myself one thing:

that I send my last hope to apathy,

for it is the only hero that will save me.