Basketball Shorts

Y'know, when you're drunk by youself? Started like this:

These are the things that I think

When I've had a bottle of red wine to drink

And I hope another dream don't have to fall short

Just lounging in my basketball shorts

Look, I've finally married someone I can love, I'm not alone

But marriage has some struggles of its own

And that creates a problem 'cause if I go and put

That in my lyrics then my wife will be the first person to hear it

I married my best friend. I've got the best

Friends and a stack of photos covered in some dust

Particles and some dead skin

Sometimes I think about the baby that I used to be

And how it's all just ultimately leading to my eulogy

You see, life hurts like a bitch sometimes

I mean sometimes, I hate the fuckin' sunshine

So I go get enough wine at one time to hide up

In my confines and unwind while vibin' to some sublime

I just want to take my mind off all this angry fan mail

Accusing me of selling out, telling me I ran stale

I'm getting hurt by people that I'm trying to please

Apparently I need to loan the fucking flying trapeze

I bought another lottery ticket tonight and out the six

Numbers I picked not one single digit was right

But life's been so stressful for me lately I'll be honest

The last thing I need is a hundred million dollars

These are the things that I think when I've had

Two bottles of red wine to drink

And I hope another dream don't have to fall short

Just lounging in my jayhawks basketball shorts

These days my dad is my friend

I mean last night we had martinis with gin and

He told me that he thinks beyonce is a 9.5- maybe a 10

And she has really pretty skin, and I smiled

I like smiling. I like fantasizing about the day

I'm gonna own my own island

I like fantasizing about the day that this anxiety

Won't constantly be turning all my skies gray

Over-analytical, constantly self-critical, I don't need

Three wishes, just one: Make me invisible

'Cause I remember days I'd get on stage to a crowd of twelve

People and only seven of 'em paid

Rich kids with college degrees coming up and saying

"Fuck fame and money. Never follow 'em please

I love your music, I downloaded all of it free

Why would you care? You're a rap star, your profit is deep."

Jeezus, life hurts like a bitch but sometimes I love it

Seriously, sometimes I look at my life and straight love it

But only on the days I close my eyes and say... Fuck it! (fuck it!)

These are the things that I think when I've had

Two bottles of red wine to drink

And I hope another dream don't have to fall short

Just lounging in my jayhawks basketball shorts

And I'm hoping for and I'm hoping for tomorrow

Cause paradise is found in a bottle, paradise is found in a bottle, yes it is

And I'm hoping for and I'm hoping for tomorrow

Cause paradise is found in a bottle

Paradise is found in a bottle, yes it is

Look man, I'm just trying to find a pot of gold

I fear the day that people say my heart has gotten cold

Spine broken, hurt by pressure

I've been called worse by better

However,

There's dark purple stains on my cracked lips

My wine glass is empty, I just took my last sip

I'm afflicted by disease when I drink

When I'm drunk all this pumpkings are the things that I think

In my basketball shorts