Hungover

This happens every weekend goddamnit!

It's friday night and all I wan't to do is relax

The week was so hard it almost made my knees crack

I'm trying to read on the couch in my sweats

'Till my cellphone vibrates and I get a text it says

"What's up dude this is chris come and meet us"

I said "nah man I'm just realizing with my feet up"

He said "dude, it's joe's birthday party

There's girl's here wetter than the mermaid barbie"

I thought to myself "geez, hum, think

I guess it's not a crime to only have one drink"

Even though it's kinda risky I got dressed quickly

Drove to the bar and ordered up a shot of whiskey

Then I got another shot of whiskey

Then I accidentally got like ten more shots of whiskey

Two martinis and a couple cold lagers

And finally a shot of goldschlager

How disgusting

Woke up the next morning on my carpet with

A turkey sandwich smashed in my armpit

I swear to God I was this close to crying it hurt

I needed water I was dying of thirst

I fucking screamed

I'm hungover, and I ain't gonna drink again

Until the night when I see my friends

Until the night where we do it again

Popped two advils, my head hurt like

I got punched by the greatest boxing

Champion from catskills

I turned off my cellphone, turned on the tv like

"Ahhh I'm gonna take it easy"

For real though I'm staying in tonight

My brain is really sore, but all of the

Sudden I heard a banging on the door

It was my friend matt, and he was

With a couple cute bitches, and I was like

"Yes! I love cute bitches"

Come to the kitchen, lets have a couple light

Buds next thing you know my freaking

Living room's a night club

Boulevard beers with some xanax bars

We even shoveled snow with my amex card

Woke up the next morning on my couch

With the taste of makers mark in my mouth

I swear to God I was this close to crying it hurt

I needed water I was dying of thirst I fucking screamed

I'm hungover, and I ain't gonna drink again

Until the night when I see my friends, until the night where we do it again

I'm hungover, and I ain't gonna drink again

Until the night when I see my friends

Until the night where we do it again

Yo, I can't drink like I used to, either that or I don't choose too

But when I do dude I get so drunk that it looks

Like I'm talking to myself like a person with a bluetooth

And I be slurping on that deuce-deuce, never

Vodka and fruit juice, man none of that stuff

Just give me a tall boy of pbr I gave a whole can cpr like "breathe goddamnit!"

Check this, last week we partied so late that we went and got breakfast

Then I sent a text message to my ex-bitch telling her she looked like precious

Then I broke into her netflix!

I'm hungover, and I ain't gonna drink again

Until the night when I see my friends, until the night where we do it again

I'm hungover, and I ain't gonna drink again

Until the night when I see my friends, until the night where we do it again

Why does every single weekend gotta end up like this? Goddamnit!

I'm always like "I'm not gonna drink tonight, I'm gonna take it easy"

And next thing you know I'm at denny's eating something greasy

Mac lethal, seven, we out