Everyone's a Little Bit Gay

[homophobe:] dude that band's so gay.

[lars:] really? you mean they're jovial, happy and good-spirited?

[homophobe:] wait, what? no i mean, their music sucks.

[lars:] oh, i thought you were trying to speak english just then, my bad.

To the dudes across the world, i've got something to say

If you see beauty in the human form, that means you're kind of gay.

Alred kinsey said it best - the human scale is sliding

Completely gay or straight, there's no clear dividing.

And subjects like these strike a serious chord

They tell you that it's wrong to be bi-curious george

It's the feeling that you get watching sports with your buddies!

In any room of 9ers fans, half of them have chubbies

Footballs that's gay, milonakis had it right

Guys shower in the locker room and put on pads and tights.

They dance around with balls and slap each other's butts

If you told me that was straight, then i'd tell you that you're nuts

Construction men are gay, erecting buildings all day long

Check the washington monument, it looks like a giant schlong.

Redneck guys are in the closet, but don't feel bad

Theres still room for rainbow bars on confederate flags

Everyone's a little bit gay

We try to hide it try to put it away

Confusing feelings don't mean they're wrong

So just sit back listen to my song

Everyone's a little bit gay

Don't get defensive, just know it's okay

Homophobic guys hear what i say

You loved the village people back in the day

Renaissance man? you can't convince me

That you like chicks yo, right da vinci?

He liked pepperoni on and off the plate

Just like aristotle and alexander the great

Or ask walt whitman and henry thoreau

Male bondin' at walden many years ago

And friendship love's confusing surely

Ask ren & stimpy, or bert and ernie

Rappers on the dl, have a secret plan

Rob halford came out, and atom goren understands

Carson daily's manorexic so gay in his demeanor

Just like pete wentz, taking pictures of wiener

The afi guy? nobody really knows

Check out exhibit a: glittler boy clothes?

But mc lars isn't gay! i get with chicks every night

So the world will know i'm straight, i mean,

That makes sense, right, (yeah) right.... ? (it does)

Everyone's a little bit gay

We try to hide it try to put it away

Confusing feelings don't mean they're wrong

So just sit back listen to my song

Everyone's a little bit gay

You can't deny it, despite what you say

Before you go and judge someone different, wait

Voting republican won't make you straight

Let me break it down, it's not that scary

You come home for christmas with a guy named harry

You offend your mom and your uncle larry

You've got to do your thing, just ask chuck berry

They ban gay marriage they say it's weird

But tradition comes from habit and tradition comes from fear

And say people rock, just check the facts

So if you're hating on my homos then you're bound to get a smack

Everyone's a little bit gay

We try to hide it try to put it away

Confusing feelings don't mean they're wrong

So just sit back listen to my song

Everyone's a little bit gay

Don't get stressed, just know it's okay

Homophobic rappers hear what i say

You moonwalked in crenshaw back in the day