How To Be An Indie Rapper

Good morning children

Children, please sit down

You all know me, superintendent gtb

We have something, extra special this morning

Something ay sit down, gracie, xavier

There's not going to be any of that, sit down

We have two very special professors with us today

Mc lars, and weerd science {yayyyyyy!}

They're here to teach all of us how to be, indie rappers

Ahem!

Here's a little rap about the steps that it takes

To be an indie rapper, or who knows, one day one of the greats

I'm not saying that it's easy but these steps can help

If you follow 'em close you could carve out a career for yourself

Step one! get your hide ready to tour in a van

The limelight might sparkle but it's not real man

Step two! you've got to flood the internet with material

Go serial, 'til it spreads like venereal

Step three! you've got to keep a close eye on your ticket stubs

The only bottles you'll be poppin is the water from the club

Step four! you can forget about the champagne and filets

Cause it's more like tostitos and old pb&j

Step five! this is probably one of the most important

Never sign to a major and let your heart get extorted

Step six! you've got to book all the shows that you can

And hopefully you get a chance to win the headliner's stance

Step seven! never mind all the pointin and the laughin

Your girl won't be psyched you spent all your time rappin

Step eight! remember hip-hop's about being true

Gotta go, peace, weerd science, more work to do

How to be an indie rapper - class is in session

Take notes, and learn your lesson

It's weerd science - and mc lars

If you follow our steps, you can go far

A is for the albatross they call a day job

B is for the beats - make sure they sound way hot

C is for the cash you collect on the road

D is for the drives that you make to get to shows

E is for the energy on stage that you need

F is for the food, your band you need to feed

G is for the gross on merch that you get

H is for the half that goes to costs, don't get upset

I is for your income, also known as net

J is for the journey, who knows what to expect?

K keep the l love, m major labels um

N-o never sign to one, p keep your publishin

Q is for quickbooks, r save your receipts

S for social networking, t technology

U understand that building takes time

V viral videos can supplement your rhymes

On your brand dot com, w use the web

Know it takes x years, a lot of work and sweat

Y is for the "yes yes y'all" on the mic

Z, zero compromise, you can stack that paper high

We be ballin on that indie rap tip (rap tip)

Got a knot in my pocket that i'm happy to split

Because a strong pma goes a really long way

When you find a niche to build from and you have a lot to say

Find your own voice! that's a good point lars (thanks)

Whether you're rockin amphitheatres or playin half-filled bars

You've got to bring it every night; if there's five people there

They could be the five that spark and ignite your whole career

Hustlenomics 2.0, slangin similes and metaphors

Alliterative assonance is what these kids all came here for

We grab it, tag it, sell it, brand it, put it on the internet

Interject and come correct, intercept that gingerbread

Finding your own image in a business of copycats

It's hard - mc lars, you copy that? (copy that)

You figured out how to pay rent and be in this business

Make a song about that i'm all ears like will smith is

That's it kids

Be sure to do your homework for monday's assignment

"how to use tax writeoffs as a way to charge things

As business expenses, that aren't really

And it's not that ethical" [nervous laughter]