The Roommate From Hell

[Nate the RA:] Hey! Welcome to Mirrielees orientation.

My name's Nate, and I'll be your RA for this year. Today,

we'll be moving into our dorms and building community.

So go get your keys from the main office, come back, and

Get ready to meet your roommates... alright?

He was the roommate from Hell!

He was the roommate from Hell!

[MC Lars:] Satan was my roommate, so junior year was Hell

He lacked social skills and had a pungent smell

When your roommate is the devil, it can be extremely whack

Putting posters on the wall, of Trapt and Nickelback

Until the break of dawn he'd be mutilating sheep

"It's 4 a.m. Satan, can you please go to sleep?"

I can't have girls over when the dorm smells like sterno

When did room 56 become Dante's inferno?

He likes death and destruction, I like radio and art,

He likes holding down Christians and reading Jean Paul Sartre

While I'm going to class studying my notes

He's eating baby fetuses and sacrificing goats

He tricks the freshman girls into eating apples

Holding black masses down at the Campus Chapel

Should have never moved in, wish I were dead

Should have found a place off campus on Craig's List instead

[CHORUS]

He was the roommate from Hell. His name was Lucifer

Someone call a priest. And bring the crucifer

He was the roommate from Hell. Leaves his pitchfork in my bed

I'm in a satanic panic. 'Cause he is messing with my head

[MC Chris:] Yo, pass that giant balloon of helium over here, yo.

[Lars:] Okay, but wait, Satan that's too much!

[MC Chris:] Boy you need a bitch

Not my fault we're mismatched

You geek out over Beakman's World,

I dig on World of WitchCraft

You're thinking that I'm riff raff, huffing on a dishrag

I am just a player, play Slayer then I kick back

I know I reek of sulfur, leave the shower curtain open

I come home drunk, make crank calls

To Queens and then Hoboken

But college is like Salem, all these bitches be so smokin'

If you're thinking that I'm leaving

Then I'm thinking that you're jokin'!

I gotta share my bunk with this post-punk chump

Calls this place a dump says, "You've been through all my stuff,

I wish you'd go to Hell." I say, "Hey that's where I'm from!"

Blasts Death Cab and Devo he's too emo to get crunk

I was a very nice boss down in Paradise Lost

I had very nice bling 'cause my minions mind floss

To hell with college, this is knowledge at a very high cost

Gotta go do some blow with that ho... Kate Moss!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

[MC Chris:] Lars you're causing laughter

When you call yourself a rapper, dude,

How many Dead Milkman albums

Are there named after you?

I always got beer. I always got weed. Best roommate ever.

If you'd ever ask me!