Dear Diary

I'm 14 and I always feel nervous

Tell me why is it that everyone is so perfect?

While I feel so worthless

And they look so happy

While lately for me

My mood has been so crappy

And I have come to believe

All of the things that I'm seeing

On magazines and tv

Of every single perfect being

All the girls with perfect bodies

And such an amazing skin

Oh how I would kill to live

The life that they are in

I've trying to lose weight

Over the past, couple weeks

Throwing up after meals

On the rare times that I eat

But that isn't enough

I still need to do much more to get this guy

To notice me people wonder what for

There's so much room in my tummy

For food that isn't funny

I don't wanna be peoples dummy

But either way I feel dumpy

Most of the time I am left here

Just thinking to myself

Oh God is this worth it

Or do I need some help like

I've been used by guys

I've been hurt by girls

I've been hit by my mom

And cursed by the world

So I keep losing weight just trying to be perfect

I'm waiting for somebody

To tell me that I'm worth it

Your not alone

I'm 23 and just ran across my old diary

I opened it up but I really don't know

What inspired me to do this

But I did and was instantly in tears

To think of how lost I was during those young years

And that guy that I mentioned back when I was 14

He's my fiance now

I guess that I'm living a dream

We got a small house a nice car

And a good life but my arms are

Still scarred from using my own knife

But he accepts me how I am

And he knows about my past

And after all of that he still says

That were gonna last and I love him

I love him I love him with all my heart

I honestly couldn't take it if we ever got pulled apart

If I could say 1 thing to me at age 14

It would be that you'll find a guy

Who will treat you like a queen

It gets better than it is dont worry about your size

And never thing your alone someone

Out there hears your cries saying

I've been used by guys

I've been hurt by girls

I've been hit by my mom

And cursed by the world

So I keep losing weight just trying to be perfect

I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth

Your not alone