Blistering Blue Barnacles

I never was an easy child

I had a lot of fights at school

The careers adviser said to me

Here's what I think you should do

Now you could be a sailor or

Maybe you could have your own ship

If you had an oil tanker

You wouldn't have to take no shit

I am the captain of this ship

And I will be obeyed

If you're not standing on the bridge

Then you're a galley slave

I sailed across the ocean, blue

I traveled round the seven seas

And up the coast of so-ma-li-a

Some pirates boarded me

And after about half an hour

The stupid motherfuckers knew

That when they tried to board my vessel

They bit off more than they could ever chew

I am the captain of this ship

And I will be obeyed

If you're not standing on the bridge

Then you're a galley slave

This deck, it will not wash itself

So get down on your knees

The sails they will not raise themselves

So get up in the breeze

Your back it will not whip itself

So bare your shoulders, please

My balls they will not wash themselves

So get down on your knees

I am the captain of this ship

And I will be obeyed

If you're not standing on the bridge

Then you're a galley slave

I am the captain of this ship

And I will be obeyed

If you're not standing on the bridge

You must be a galley slave

Row

You maggot-ridden dogs

Row