Accept My Shaft

Hey, how you doin' (oooh)

Thanks for coming to my studio apartment

Got some shit to say (that's right)

The times we've had

The times we've missed

The times we've embraced

And the times we've kissed

The times we've loved

And the times we've laughed

Now it's time

To accept my shaft

Wo-oah!

My shaft

The times we've spent

The times we've shared

The times we've shown each other

Just how much we care

The times we've lived

All the times for reflection

Now you must survive

My thunderous erection

Wo-oah

It's enough of a shaft

My shaft

Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!

Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!

Don't leave, don't run! You are the only one!

I can be myself around!

I've come undone! You are the only one!

Who can lift my heart up off the ground!

The times behind

And the times foretold

Forgive me if I'm being

Just a bit too bold

But our sweet love

Won't be forsaken

Once you are

Gargling my bacon

Ooh, the times we've seen

And the times ahead

Grab a couple pillows

And get on that bed

You'll want to lay back

And clear your calendar

Once I introduce you to my friend

Excalibur

(Excalibur, excalibur)

You take me higher! You set my loins afire!

You are the slam pig I desire!

Dear God, I'll plow... You all around the house!

'Cause you lift my heart up off the ground!

Lift my heart up off the ground

But try find a way to incorporate

The shaft while you're doing so

Actually, you know what?

Really concentrate on the shaft

More-so than the, uh, than the heart

The shaft should definitely be your main focus

Can't stress that enough