Three Juvenile Delinquents

Verse 1

Three juvenile delinquents,

Juvenile delinquents,

Happy as can be-we

Waste no time

On the wherefores and whys of it;

We like crime

And that's about the size of it;

People say that films demoralise us,

Lead us to a life of shame,

Mental doctors try to civilise us,

Psycho-analyse us,

Blimey, what a game!

They don't know how to treat us,

For if they should beat us

That would never do,

When they say, 'go steady!'

We've the answer ready:

And the same to you!

Verse 2

Three juvenile delinquents,

Juvenile delinquents,

Happy as can be-we

Hit and run

For the thrill and the sport of it;

Nice clean fun

And that's the long and short of it.

Dear old ladies often get the vapours

When we meet them after dark-whoo!

Then next day we read about our capers

In the daily papers,

Blimey, what a lark!

We thrill the sunday readers,

But the silly bleeders

Haven't got a clue

When the judge says, 'chokey'

We say 'okey-dokey'

And the same to you!

Verse 3

Three juvenile delinquents,

Juvenile delinquents,

Happy as can be-we

Lick our chops

When we read what they write of us

All the cops

Hate the bloody sight of us.

Once we pinched a cadillac and drove her

From the marble arch to kew;

Hit a fat old geezer in a rover,

Fairly bowled her over,

Blimey, what a do!

We said, 'you mustn't fuss, dear,

There's a lovely bus, dear,

Number twenty-two,

If we've bruised your bonnet,

Stick a plaster on it.'

And the same to you!

Verse 4

Three juvenile delinquents,

Juvenile delinquents.

Every now and then-when

Kind old cranks

Mention angels of light to us

We say, 'thanks,

Don't forget to write to us.'

Nowadays the younger generation

Never had to face brute force.

Some old judge, instead of flagellation,

Puts us on probation!

Blimey, what a sauce!

Last night we got an earful

From a rather tearful

Clergyman we knew.

When he turned the sobs on

We replied, "with knobs on'

And the same to you!

Verse 5

Three juvenile delinquents,

Juvenile delinquents,

Happy as can be-we

Break our backs

To achieve popularity.

Three sharp whacks,

Faith and hope and charity.

Once we knocked a pair of silly sluts out

Just behind the 'horse and plough',

Dragged them round to where the railing juts out,

Bellowing their guts out,

Blimey, what a row!

We had to cosh 'em proper,

Then we saw a copper

Starting to pursue

Then we cried vibrato,

'how's your old tomato?'

And the same to you!