Why Must The Show Go On?

Verse 1

The world for some years

Has been sodden with tears

On behalf of the acting profession,

Each star playing a part

Seems to expect the 'purple heart',

It's unorthodox

To be born in a box

But it needn't become an obsession,

Let's hope we have no worse to plague us

Than two shows a night at las vegas.

When i think of physicians

And mathematicians

Who don't earn a quarter the dough,

When i look at the faces

Of people in macy's

There's one thing i'm burning to know:

Refrain 1

Why must the show go on?

It can't be all that indispensable,

To me it really isn't sensible

On the whole

To play a leading role

While fighting those tears you can't control,

Why kick up your legs

When draining the dregs

Of sorrow's bitter cup?

Because you have read

Some idiot has said,

'the curtain must go up'!

I'd like to know why a star takes bows

Having just returned from burying her spouse.

Brave boop-a-doopers,

Go home and dry your tears,

Gallant old troupers,

You've bored us all for years

And when you're so blue,

Wet through

And thoroughly woe-begone,

Why must the show go on?

Oh mammy!

Why must the show go on?

Verse 2

We're asked to condole

With each tremulous soul

Who steps out to be loudly applauded,

Stars on opening nights

Sob when they see their names in lights,

Though people who act

As a matter of fact

Are financially amply rewarded,

It seems, while pursuing their calling,

Their suffering's simply appalling!

But butchers and bakers

And candlestick makers

Get little applause for their pains

And when i think of miners

And waiters in 'diners'

One query for ever remains:

Refrain 2

Why must the show go on?

The rule is surely not immutable,

It might be wiser and more suitable

Just to close

If you are in the throes

Of personal grief and private woes.

Why stifle a sob

While doing your job

When, if you use your head,

You'd go out and grab

A comfortable cab

And go right home to bed?

Because you're not giving us much fun,

This 'laugh clown laugh' routine's been overdone,

Hats off to show folks

For smiling when they're blue

But more comme-il-faut folks

Are sick of smiling through,

And if you're out cold,

Too old

And most of your teeth have gone,

Why must the show go on?

I sometimes wonder

Why must the show go on?

Refrain 3

Why must the show go on?

Why not announce the closing night of it?

The public seem to hate the sight of it,

Dear, and so

Why you should undergo

This terrible strain we'll never know.

We know that you're sad,

We know that you've had

A lot of storm and strife

But is it quite fair

To ask us to share

Your dreary private life?

We know you're trapped in a gilded cage

But for heaven's sake relax and be your age,

Stop being gallant

And don't be such a bore,

Pack up your talent,

There's always plenty more

And if you lose hope

Take dope

And lock yourself in the john

Why must the show go on?

I'm merely asking

Why must the show go on?