A Better Version

[JUDITH]

My life started when I went for jog

And spotted you in the park

Sitting with a dog

So I stopped and asked, "can I pet your dog?"

(spoken)

And so there we were, me and this golden retriever, basking in the abundance of sun Austin provides. And suddenly, you blurted out

(sung)

"This isn't my dog, actually

It's my friend's dog, Sheila

I'm taking care of her while he's away

She's on a lot of medication"

And I laughed, and you laughed

Saying you didn't wanna be found out when you asked me to coffee

That there was no dog

I said yes and you said, "I'm Jase. What's your name?"

And I heard the perfect opportunity

To be someone else entirely

Free from my history

For one single cup of coffee

I would be Natalie

It felt like my life, but a better version

With you in my life, I was a better person

I heard music in the words you were saying

Melodies with no band playing

For the first time, I was in love

And I loved who I was with you

All the mundane shit I used to hate

Like recycling plastic and flossing every day

Making breakfast, paying bills

Watering the plants on our window sill

Was invigorated with your sense of wonder

Pillow talk, afternoon walks

Holding hands in the parking lot of Home Depot

Dealing with inevitable misfortunes that were barely manageable

Like that time we accidentally hit a squirrel with your car

That was an unfortunate anecdote

Do you know what I mean?

It felt like my life, but a better version

With you in my life, I was a better person

I heard music in the words you were saying

Melodies with no band playing

For the first time I was in love

And I loved who I was with you

My parents finally tracked me down

After years of jumping from town to town

They found you and me

Men in suits at our front door

Asking you about Judith Ford

And I knew, instantly

They say before you die

Your whole life flashes before your very eyes

Well, it didn't the first time

But this time I heard each and every lie

I'd ever told you

I tried to cling to the life I'd made together with you

So I did the only thing I knew how to

I denied who I was, because

I wanted to keep my life

But the better version

Natalie, your wife

She was a better person

I memorized your voice

And how you say goodbye

But you never said goodbye

You never said goodbye

And I held on to our life

And who I was with you

Who I was with you

Who I was with you