Lame Monster Party

I threw a monster party last Halloween night

And invited all the monsters for a fun October fright

All the famous monsters would be making the scene

I figured that my bash would be the year's biggest scream

I put out lots of Chex Mix and some rice Krispie treats

The skeleton band was kicking out some spooky beats

I headed to the dance floor, ready to get down

But all the monsters just were sort of standing around

CHORUS

It was a lame monster party

It was a lame monster party

The monsters were boring, and the party really sucked

And nobody had any fun

Nobody was boogie-ing or acting very scary

The zombies kind of roamed around, texting on Blackberries

Frankenstein showed pictures from his recent trip to Branson

Wolfman argued macroeconomics with Charlie Manson

When Jason wasn't droning on about Scientology

He talked in painful detail about his vasectomy

But Freddy Kreuger took the prize for testing our endurance

Trying to convince the ghosts they needed life insurance

CHORUS

Damien wouldn't budge as he played his GameBoy

The Mummy was doing sudoku

Dr. Jekyll went and ate up all of the brownies

And Dracula kept checking his MySpace account

Leatherface, who showed up drunk, kept hitting on the witches

And cornered everybody with his Amway sales pitches

The Creature from the Black Lagoon was out in the yard

Debating with Godzilla about Kirk and Picard

Finally, I knew that it was time to call it quits

When Chucky started reenacting Monty Python skits

I learned my lesson-you can bet I won't do that again

Next Halloween: just me and Igor, down at Bennigan's