Concrete

When you first kill someone, it's like breaking the ice

It's an obstacle in the beginning, but after that

It's nothing

People are like maggots

Small, blind and worthless

Mary Ellen Jones, of immaculate skin and fragile bones

Unbroken, tight and clean (and shy of sixteen..)

Note well the year is nineteen seventy-three

And in summate, this righteous fortune, Vidi, Vici, Veni

Whilst Dahmer court' depravity

Manson's brood and Gacy's violent sexuality

Mine is calm necessity, for needs unmet and social anxieties

Balanced blood, and nature coursed toward it

Though not as easily bound

Nor hidden from the waking sight

Of post-ejaculate catharsis

The gravity of my actions has finally sought me

The trance-like state of passion

Now forever broken, and the flood of realization

For transgressions at the night before

Rushed to my senses

With the weight of a concrete hammer

Shattering completely the chrysalis around me

Within the chamber

A whimpering child, tied

And with dark mascara smeared across her porcelain features

Faith pulverized by the night's atrocities

Begged an end to my advance

And without

A prostrate boy, denied the dawn

And soaked cold through with hues of blood and rage

Day's light forever now beyond sensation

Sought paradise foregone, away

An emptiness far greater than any felt before, arrived

And defined a catalyst for this panorama of destruction

Draining all joy from those things I had done

At this, the veil was lifted

And euphoria gave ground completely to evocation

Mary cried maternal

As salvation lay farther than ever from my grasp