Boat Train

I met with Napper Tandy

And I shook him by the hand

He said "Hold me up for Chrissake

For I can hardly stand"

The most disgraceful journey

On which I've ever been

The last time that I travelled on

The Boat Train

I had a couple of drinks in town

A few more at the port

I puked up on the gangway

But some kind folks helped me board

They helped me to a table

Poured whiskey down my throat

They sat me at a table

And I lost my watch and coat

First we drank some whiskey

Then we drank some gin

Then we drank tequila

I think that's what did me in

Then we drank some brandy

And the women had a dance

The steward then announced

That we could play the game of "chance"

We crowded round the table

With our money in our hands

I ended up on the other side

Without a penny in my pants

I woke up in the toilet

When we got to Holyhead

The doors were all a-banging

And I wished that I was dead