Heavy Moon

I've been sleeping in 'til late

Worried about what to say

When friends ask me how I'm doing

Just smile: I'm okay

I'd hate to bring you down this rabbit hole with me

Of unwashed clothes and bloodshot eyes

And a head far too heavy

I don't need your fucking sympathy

Just want you to hate myself as much

As much as I hate me

I blame the heavy moon

A cold shower to shock the nerves

But that shit doesn't work

When you can't feel anything anyway

And that new leaf never turns

I'm sick of feeling like I don't fucking fit in

So I mark myself permanently

And let the ink speak through my skin

I don't need your fucking sympathy

Just want you to hate myself as much

As much as I hate (me)

Grinding my teeth

Feeling weak at the knees

I shut my eyes

But it seems like I keep twisting the knife

They stop and they stare

Just let me be

When will this gloom stop looming over me?

I blame the heavy moon

Held down, not against my own will

The bottom tastes better than I think it should

It's intoxicating, but it kills anything inside that's good

Admit it, not feeling alright

I don't need your sympathy

Going through these motions, it's just a part of life

But it seems like I keep twisting the knife

They stop and they stare

Just let me be

When will this gloom stop looming over me?

I can't blame the heavy moon

(Anymore)