When I Go Down

I'll tell you flat out

It hurts so much to think of this

So from my thoughts I will exclude

The very thing that

I hate more than everything is

The way I'm powerless

To dictate my own moods

I've thrown away

So many things that could've been much more

And I just pray

My problems go away if they're ignored

But that's not the way it works

No that's not the way it works

When I go down

I go down hard

And I take everything I've learned

And teach myself some disregard

When I go down

It hurts to hit the bottom

And of the things that got me there

I think, if only I had fought them

If and when I can

Clear myself of this clouded mind

I'll watch myself settle down

Into a place where

Peace can search me out and find

That I'm so ready to be found

I've thrown away

The hope I had in friendships

I've thrown away

So many things that could have been much more

I've thrown away

The secret to find an end to this

And I just pray

My problems go away if they're ignored

But that's not the way it works

No that's not the way it works

Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands

While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me

Reprimands me

Then and there

I confess

I'll blame all this on my selfishness

Yet you love me

And that consumes me

And I'll stand up again

And do so willingly

You give me hope,

And hope it gives me life

You touch my heavy heart,

And when you do you make it light

As I exhale I hear your voice

And I answer you,

Though I hardly make a noise

And from my lips the words I choose to say

Seem pathetic,

But it's a fallen man's praise

Because I love you

Oh God, I love you

And life is now worth living

If only because of you

And when they say I'm dead and gone

It won't be further from the truth

When I go down

I lift my eyes to you

I won't look very far

Cause you'll be there

With open arms

To lift me up again

To lift me up again