Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Rugburns
Canonical path: /rugburns/hitchhiker-joe
Related lyric paths: 6
Lyric guide
Hitchhiker Joe
Read Hitchhiker Joe lyrics by Rugburns on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
person
Curated by Ethan Walker
LyroVerse team
Reference snapshot
The page facts to cite before the commentary
Use this page for the lyric text, linked artist context, and any LyroVerse editor's note attached to the song. Listener comments remain user-generated and should not be treated as the primary source.
Lyrics
Hitchhiker Joe
The lyric stays readable and compact here; the note and related paths sit nearby so you do not lose the song while looking for context.
Don't pick up hitchhiker joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
I had a cousin who came from vermont
Next thing I know, that cousin was gone
Truck driver saw him picking up hitchhiker joe
Now his spleen's on the sidewalk helping flowers grow
Don't pick up hitchhiker joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
My best friend eddie called from l.a.
Said we'd have dinner later that day
I've got a feeling, and it's more than a hunch
My poor friend eddie was that hitchhiker's lunch
Don't pick up hitchhiker joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Hitchhiker joe ain't no vegetarian
If you see him on the highway
Steer clear of him
He got a knife in his sock
And a razor up his sleeve
And a chainsaw in his pack
And he's gonna make you bleed, yeah, yeah
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
My girfriend lois called from talahassee
She picked up that dude at the spam factory
That was the last time that I saw her smile
My best advice is don't eat spam for a while
Don't pick up hitchhiker joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Don't pick up (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Hitchhiker joe (bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll slit your throat (bom, bom, bom, bom)
And cut off your big toe
He'll make you smile (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
From ear to ear (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Gonna lock you in a trunk (bom, bom, bom, bom)
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Don't pick up hitchhiker joe (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll slit your throat (bom, bom, bom, bom)
And cut off your big toe (bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll make you smile (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
From ear to ear (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Gonna lock you in a trunk (bom, bom, bom, bom)
For ninety-na-na-na-na-na-na-na now (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Do-ooh-ooh-n't (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Pick up (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Hitchhiker (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
He got to cut off your big, your big, your big (bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll make you smile (bom, bom, bom, bom)
From ear to ear (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Gonna lock you
Quick answers
What this page can answer fast
Who performs "Hitchhiker Joe"?
Rugburns performs "Hitchhiker Joe", and this lyric page sits inside the Rugburns catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Hitchhiker Joe"?
Yes. The related section below points to The Ballad of Tommy & Marla and 'Til The Next Day Comes with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Rugburns?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Rugburns's lyric pages.
Song Room
Open Song Room
Interpretations, questions, and corrections for this song
Interpretations, questions, memories, and correction notes live together here. The room stays noindex while the best insights are reviewed.
Listener comments
What people are saying
No listener comments on Hitchhiker Joe yet.
A strong comment here is specific: the phrase you keep hearing, the mood you come back for, or the reason this song stays in rotation.
Sign in to post the first listener note. Reporting stays open to everyone.