Little Big Man

I'm not just some dilettante

If you'll excuse me, I've got names to drop

You think my lyrics don't make sense?

Well, maybe you're a little dense

Pretentious? Moi? Don't be absurd

Sure, I use some twenty dollar words

But brother, I'm the salt of the Earth

And while my band might be subpar

And I'm stuck here tending bar

I hold my own with all the punk rock stars

My politics are so correct

I march along in perfect step

And all my pals think like I do

That's how I know I've got a clue

Now let me make this crystal clear

You point and laugh at all that I hold dear

But I've got the respect of all my peers

And they're allowed to take the piss

But if you cross me then I'll shake my fist

And tell the internet about it

I'm a big man

It's time for me to show my ass

And pass some rumors on as fact

Now don't you dare call me a clown

I'll have my lawyer shut your website down

I went on tour with NOFX

I didn't really have a job with them

But I'll have you know they're personal friends

I got to ride Fat Mike's giraffe

And we all sat around and laughed

At everyone who's sick of my act

Little big man

I'm a big man

Little big man