Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Sham 69
Canonical path: /sham-69/the-doctors-song
Related lyric paths: 6
Lyric guide
The Doctors Song
Read The Doctors Song lyrics by Sham 69 on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
person
Curated by Ethan Walker
LyroVerse team
Reference snapshot
The page facts to cite before the commentary
Use this page for the lyric text, linked artist context, and any LyroVerse editor's note attached to the song. Listener comments remain user-generated and should not be treated as the primary source.
Lyrics
The Doctors Song
The lyric stays readable and compact here; the note and related paths sit nearby so you do not lose the song while looking for context.
Plastic dolls in plastic bags
Macho dildos buying shags
When the coppers they appear
In the market you can hear
Tell me Doctor can I buy it
Tell me Doctor can you supply it
Spunky cardboard magazines
You can see it in his jeans
Is it soft or is it hard
It's been seen in Scotland Yard
Tell me Doctor can I buy it
Tell me Doctor can you supply it
Tell me are you getting it
Tell me are you having it
Doctor Porno, Doctor Porno
Fruity stories veggie looks
I thought I'd read it all in books
Here comes Sally she's a tenner
Lay some plates and we'll have dinner
Tell me Doctor can I buy it
Tell me Doctor can you supply it
Tell me are you getting it
Tell me are you having it
Doctor Porno, Doctor Porno
Tell me are you getting it
Tell me are you having it
Doctor Porno, Doctor Porno
You want something that will make you horny
Well have a look at this while I speak to Tony
I've got what you want but it's in the van
I know you're a naughty man
Mandy, Margeret, French and sags
You don't get this on teletext
Naked women naked men
Take one daily and come again
Tell me Doctor can I buy it
Tell me Doctor can you supply it
Tell me are you getting it
Tell me are you having it
Doctor Porno, Doctor Porno
Some come in cos they've been told
It's all kosher bought and sold
Yes I think this ones for you
You don't want one you need two
Tell me Doctor can I buy it
Tell me Doctor can you supply it
Tell me are you getting it
Tell me are you having it
Doctor Porno, Doctor Porno
You want something that will make you horny
Well have a look at this while I speak to Tony
I've got one for you but it's in the van
I know you're a naughty man
Quick answers
What this page can answer fast
Who performs "The Doctors Song"?
Sham 69 performs "The Doctors Song", and this lyric page sits inside the Sham 69 catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "The Doctors Song"?
Yes. The related section below points to Swampy and 14 Years with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Sham 69?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Sham 69's lyric pages.
Song Room
Open Song Room
Interpretations, questions, and corrections for this song
Interpretations, questions, memories, and correction notes live together here. The room stays noindex while the best insights are reviewed.
Listener comments
What people are saying
No listener comments on The Doctors Song yet.
A strong comment here is specific: the phrase you keep hearing, the mood you come back for, or the reason this song stays in rotation.
Sign in to post the first listener note. Reporting stays open to everyone.