Pie

You know, The Rock's gonna tell you a little story.

You ain't gonna believe it, but he's gonna tell you anyway.

It's tough to be the Rock!

Oh no, no, shut your mouth! No, no, it really is.

Even though The Rock is...

The Rock is the most electrifying man in all of show biz!

You see, when the Rock gets too much...

too much of the fame and all the bright lights...

He likes to kick back and have a slice of that unadulterated delight!

DING!

Slick Rick: Welcome to Rick's Bakery, can I help...

wait a minute... Aren't you the famous Rock?

The Rock: Yeah, The rock, the people's champ in the house.

What's happening, Slick?

Slick Rick: Hey, how're you doing, guy?

Look, you gotta take a picture with me before you leave, guy.

The Rock: Whoa, whoa, The Rock doesn't want to take pictures,

The Rock just wants a piece of pie.

You got any of that in this bakery?

Slick Rick: Oh, I got every pie you can think of.

I've of strawberry pie, blueberry pie, apple pie...

The Rock: Blueberry? What? Oh, no, no, whoa, whoa,

actually, Slick, it doesn't matter what type of pie you have.

Let The Rock tell you a little story about pie...

Driving down South, though quickly aroused,

when my car caught a flat near this old farm house.

I hope somebody's home, takin' a chance at it,

Knocked on the door, and this fine chick answered.

(You're The Rock!) Can I use your phone?

(I'm shakin, sure, if you try some of this pie I'm makin')

Daisy duke shorts on, five foot stood,

Said, "sure, what the heck, I mean it did smell good."

(So she called Rock to the kitchen, towards the vapor)

There's her grandmother, aunt, and a Chinese neighbor?

Well, The Rock is gonna tell you again.

You see, it's tough to be The Rock!

Yeah, The Rock knows, that might sound crass

Oh, and by the way...

All you jabronis in the locker room...

You can all come kiss The Rock's ass!

'Cause you know after The Rock lays the smackdown

on some big, fat, ugly hermaphrodite!

The Rock needs a little distraction...

and a slice sounds just right!

The Rock said "thanks ladies", and more kind words.

Grandmother said, "Be polite, eat mine first."

So I sat down, tried her's, she looked quite glad,

Had a strange tasting mold, but it wasn't so bad.

That's right, The Rock having pie in the country

Devoured her's, her aunt's, and still I was hungry

"That's all?" Rock said.

Bored and reading the paper,

'til finally, a plate of the next door neighbors

Dogged it down fast, 'cause it really did please

I mean it tasted so good, Rock was talkin' Chinese!

[Rock shouts incoherent "Chinese" words] That good pie!

Slick Rick: Oh, that's the pie you was talkin about!

Oh yeah, The Rock knows the millions can smell it now!

It's tough to be The Rock!

No, no, no, no, it really is.

Because you all know, The Rock is THE MOST...

Electrifying man in all of showbiz!

You see when The Rock gets too much... too much of the fame...

and all the bright lights,

he loves to kick back and have a slice...

No, no, no, no, no, The Rock is gonna eat the whole damn pie!