String Of Pearls

She swings

The string

Of pearls on the corner

The streelight reflects

The light on the water

The string, it snaps

And the pearls go sailing

And they splash

And bounce

And roll cross the wet street

As she bends to chase the pearls

A car swings round the corner

She darts from the eyes

Of the panic struck driver

Whos racing to

The delivery room

'Cause in the backseet his wife

Is busting out of her womb

The sack breaks and out come the siamese twins

Who grow up to become

The first president with two heads

Are better than one

He puts his heads in his hands,

Says I gotta put my heads together

I can become the Best President Ever

And not just president

Fend for yourself

Signs his name takes the blame

For all of the names with no shame

In their beliefe they adjourn

And the leave

And in walks a man

With a broom, and a knife

And blood on his hands

And he sweeps everything

Under the rug

And goes home

To his kids, and he gives them a hug

But his wife was not there, she had just left a letter

That said you'll be much

Better off without me

Now his wife took the train

To her ex-lovers funeral

Who died in the bathroom,

Hit his head on a urinal

When they got together, the knowledge was carnal

And the widow was at the funeral, and they had quite a catfight

And they fell into the grave where the casket was resting

And the preacher just left in the middle of the service

'Cause death was one thing,

But women made him nervous

And he got into his car,

And he drove round the corner

Then something in the street

Caught the light in his eye

He bent over, reached down

And picks up the pearl from the gutter

He didnt know what to think

He took it home and washed it in the sink

And he gave the pearl

To Sister Mary Theresa

Who could not accept it,

So she gave it to Lisa

A young prostitute who was missing a pearl

Off the necklace that broke

Late last night