Pass The Udder Udder

Oh, we grow things mighty big down in Kentucky

But there's nothing in that state that can compare

To a cow that we once had us

And the name of her was Gladys

Boy, you should have seen the neighbors stop and stare.

She stood 10 feet tall and had one purple eyeball

It took eight of us to milk her, here is why:

She had 27 spigots

And the tourists all bought tickets

Just to watch us milk and hear us loudly cry-y-y-y...

(Chorus)

Oh, pass the udder udder and I'll pass it to my brudder

And I'll pass the udder udder dis-a-way

So we passed the udder udder and I passed it to my brudder

Oh, we really had our hands full every day.

We created quite a spectacle, I grant you

But we milked her just as pretty as you please

And while people said "How funny,"

We raked in enough durn money

To go out and order ermine BVD's.

Father turned her on her back one Sunday morning

Gladys said "I'm upside down, now what's the gag?"

"Well, the reason why," said Pop

"is so the cream will be on top."

"Gosh," the cow said, "in that case, it's in the bag!"

Now our Gladys was a star in cattle circles

Though she couldn't read or write her name in full

You would think she'd been to college

Although she herself acknowledged

That she gained her fame entirely by pull.

Gladdys said to us one cold and wintry morning

She said "Milking is the thing I dearly loves,

But when I get a cold it lingers

And I can't stand icy fingers

So go on back in the house and get your gloves!"