Blowing The Payload

A group of legendary warriors

They're world-renowned

Overwatch, bitch!

Their power’s known all around

Pushin' on the payload

Is part of their plan

From Gibraltar, and then

Hanamura, Japan

Their power is tested

Wherever they go

Rockets, bullets

You name it, bro

They've never been stopped

Or met their match

A mission’s arrived

So heroes, dispatch!

Hi, can you help me?

My car's broken down

The engine's all busted

I can't get my ass around

I need some friends to get

My vehicle out of the traffic

You guys look like the best

With all your fancy fuckin' tactics

Without hesitation, they

Begin the migration

Reinhardt pushes from behind

Traffic's redirected as

Mei is unaffected

By cars honking loudly

Combined

Bastion transforms into

A giant fuckin' turret and

Blows all the drivers away

Pharah flies up high and

Rockets start to fly

As the overpass crumblin' okay

Holy fuckin’ shit

That was a little overkill

But what do you expect

From the best?

The phone’s ringing

Off the hook

For another job to book

So let's see where we end up next

Hi I need assistance

I’m a 13-year-old girl

If you would help me

I would be so happy

I would fuckin' twirl

Got a wagon filled with lemons

And uh, moving it's a pain

I need your skills or

No one's fuckin’ getting lemonade today

Boom!

Our heroes get on the case

Zarya is lifting up the wagon

To her fuckin' face

Everyone is scramblin'

To clear out any space

So they can quickly get the payload

To the meeting place

Lucio plays some music to

Calm the girl

Junkrat shoots grenades

To blow up a squirrel

A stranger pulls out his phone

To call the cops

Then upon him

Doomfist Meteor Drops

People are screamin'

Blood is flyin' everywhere

Bullets are soarin'

And zippin' all through the air

It's a pure bloodbath

But the wagon's delivered

Our heroes take their leave

As Courtney fuckin' shivers

Another mission successful

Our heroes always thrive

Lookee here, another call

For a payload's arrived

Hi, can you help me?

I'm a very old lady

My shitty hip replacement

Just ain't enough to aid me

Your gang looks like a big bunch

Of sexy hunks of meat

Now help these 90-year-old buttcheeks

Get across the street

Like a lightning bolt

Tracer's on the scene

Hold's her hand and says

Take all the time you need

With little itty-bitty steps

The mission is clean

Until it starts to pour

Completely unforeseen

D. Va flies above

And shoots the clouds

Bullets rain down

Into every house

Mei starts a blizzard to

Stop the rain

But inflicts upon the neighborhood

Torturous pain

To warm the place

Orisa pierces the ground

Letting lava leak out

Spreading all around

Everyone is screaming now

It's a horrible sound

So Lucio DJ's

To drown it out

Halfway across the road

The old lady falls

Zenyatta throws out

One of his healing balls

She smashes her face

But it's A-OK

'Cause Ana throws

A motherfuckin' healing grenade

Eventually

They end up getting across

The old lady's so grateful

She is at a loss

Or maybe she's unconscious

We could never know

Because onward to their next

Mission they go

Nope

She's dead

Alright

Bye