I Like Drugs

Last night, I got so high

I think I had sex with the cable guy

Well I'll admit, it would've been funny,

But, that pole smoker stole all my drug money

I buy chronic every week or so

But I do it when I'm really really high on blow

I'm wide awake, but it's hard to count

I paid $1100 dollars for a quarter ounce!

I like drugs but they don't like me

My brain cells seem to disagree

I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs but they don't like me

I was pounding some bitch the other night

Rolling on E man, feeling alright

When I was high she was hotter than heck

But I woke up to a face that looked like Shrek

I get high, that ain't no lie

But I can't afford another friggin DUI

Doctor says "stop, or you'll be dying"

I was gonna, but then you said you were buying

I like drugs but they don't like me

It's always better, when they're free!

I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs, but they don't like me

No they don't!

Don't try and stop me, I can't be saved... oh yeah

If I die tonight at least my balls are shaved

Can you necro-feel-it!

Aw yeah, I Like Drugs

I do it when I'm chillin'

Aw yeah, I Like Drugs

I've even snorted penicillin... Ahhh come on! come on! come on!

If I can crush it - It goes up my nose

If it's smack I'll shoot it in between my toes

How old am I? Nobody knows!

My surgeon is my dealer so my age never shows!

Vicodin, valium, Percocet and crack,

Everybody scream Heavy Metal's back!

I like drugs but the don't like me!

I like drugs but the don't like me

I'm driving right now to the next party

I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs, but they don't like me!

Michael: Oh shit man, I'm getting pulled over again...

Ah, I better chug these beers, where's those pills shit?

Cop: Sir do you realize you were going 25mph on the freeway back there?

Michael: Well what's the fucking speed limit? 15 mph?

Cop: Smart Ass! Sir do you have any Warrants?

Michael: I got their first CD, but you can't have it! Later!

Cop: I got a 5150 on a 2112, I'm following a 1984 yellow Camaro.

Suspect looks like a chubby David Lee Roth...

Scratch that, more like a skinny version of Vince Neil!

Michael: You can't catch me! 'Cause I'm too fast

Hey man, give me three dude!

I tought I said three

I tought I said two

What the fuck is going on..?

Stop it man! Fuck!

Hey, where's... where's... where's my... Hey! Where's my bong dude? Fuck...