Hot Tub Refugee

One, Two, Button my shoe

Some people sit in the jacuzzi

Every night and every day

Cause they think that boiling water

Will take all their blues away

To be successful is so stressful

So the hottentots unwind

And party, party, party

While they're boiling their behinds

But not me

I like my lobsters in the sea

I get my power from the shower

Cause I'm a hot tub refugee

Now they cannot see the danger

When the bubbles start to rise

So they sit and soak for hours

Til they're hot tub hypnotized

And they say it's so romantic

And the only way to score

Is to bathe with thirty people

That you never met before

But not me

That's just one place I'll never be

I'm just a hermit with a permit

To be a hot tub refugee

Soak it now. What's your sign?

I've tried the tubs in Aspen

Where the bunnies go to ski

And the tubs in California

Full of wet celebrities

But I swear a hot tub party

Makes my spirit start to droop

As I watch sweet young tomatoes

Try to turn themselves to soup

But not me

My onions mean too much to me

And my soul is saturated

I'm just a hot tub refugee