The Lincoln Park Pirates

In Chicago where I live, there's a, there's an outfit that could tow almost anything off the street.

But they deal mostly with automobiles and we call 'em "The Lincoln Park Pirates".

The street lamps are on in Chicago tonight

And lovers, they're gazing at stars,

The stores are all closin' and Daley is dozin'

And the fat man is counting the car.

"And there's more cars than places to put 'em," he said

"But I got room for them all,

So round 'em up boys 'cause I want some more toys,

Hit the lot by the grocery store."

To me --

Way-hey-tow 'em away

The Lincoln Park pirates are we;

From Wilmette to Gary

There's none that so hairy

And we always collect our fee.

To me --

Way-hey-tow 'em away

We plunder the streets of your town,

Be it Edsel or Chevy,

There's no car to heavy

And no one can make us shut down.

We break into cars when we gotta,

With pick axe and hammer and saw,

And they said this garage had no license

But little care I for the law.

All my drivers are friendly and courteous;

Their good manners you always will get

For they all are recent graduates

Of the charm school in Joliet

To me --

Way-hey-tow 'em away

The Lincoln Park pirates are we;

From Wilmette to Gary

There's none that so hairy

And we always collect our fee

To me --

Way-hey-tow 'em away

We plunder the streets of your town,

Be it Edsel or Chevy,

There's no car too heavy

And no one can make us shut down.

And when all of the cars are collected,

And all of their fenders are ruined

Then I'll tow every boat in Belmont Harbor

To the Lincoln Park Lagoon.

And when I've collected the ransom

And sunk all the ones that won't yield,

Then I'll tow all the planes that are blocking the runways

At Midway, O'Hare and Meigs Field

To me --

Way-hey-tow 'em away

The Lincoln Park pirates are we;

From Wilmette to Gary

There's none that so hairy

And we always collect our fee.

To me --

Way-hey-tow 'em away,

"Now citizens Gather around

I think it's enough and let's call his bluff

Let's tow the bum out of town!"