The Beta Band Rap

We're the Beta Band and we're nice and clean

We're always polite and hardly ever mean

Times have changed, we used to be smelly,

We lived in a squat 'til a punk nicked our telly

Since we've been signed we eat real good

We always wash our hands and chew our food

Quashis rotis are our favourite dish

Served spicy with chicken or fish

In the world of fashion there's two shining lights

Nancy and Caroline they helped us alright

And Gordon Anderson played a big part

Just when the Beta Band was about to start

It all started in London town, when we gave our demo to Phil Brown

Then we met Miles at Parlophone and let him hear Dogs Got A Bone

He said "go to Falkner and put it on wax"

So the next week was spent cutting four tracks

Now a manager was needed to make us complete

Miles knew a Wiganer we should meet

His name was Dave with the broken specs

A quiet manner and nuff respec

We met at Nanchos and cleaned the plate

A meal like that we'd never ate

Then we met Brian and the Microdot crew

Martin, Matt and John Platt too

Adrenalin Village was the place to be

We had no money so they got us in free

The first thing Dave did as boss

Was make us play Water Rats in Kings Cross

We played five songs got credit for four

Went down well so we decided to tour

Next up was Henry and Nich

Making the show go without a hitch

Up and down the country *from* side to side

Wi big yin driving it's a bumpy ride

Miles gave us an album deal

We said "yes" and went for a meal

Drinking champagne at EMI

The irony almost made us cry

this one's for Scotland

We went to Wales and fannyed around

Ended up with the Patty Patty Sound

With open minds we went to achieve

Chris Allison caught it all on Neive

He hummed and hawed and became a pest

Twittering on about the old Neive desk

We had to call in Keith and Miles

When Chris' hair got caught in the dials

We started to get known on Radio One

When Jo Whiley got a fax from my mum

Mary Ann Hobbs invited us to play

At Maida Vale we spent a day

With Chris Allison's hair cut free

It was time for Cornwall and the third EP

With a glock and a sax and a mighty gong

All we needed was a hit pop song

We thought this time we were on a good start

But they made a new rule that banned us from the chart

The songs were good so we didn't give a toss

And we called it Los Amigos Del Beta Bandidos