Joseph Smith American Moses

And now we wish to honour you with the story of Joseph Smith The American Moses!

Well this is very good, praise Christ

Mormon!

I'm going to take you back in time! (mormon)

To the United States year 1823 (mormon)

A small and odd village called oopstate New York (oopstate)

There was Disease, and famine (so sick)

But also in the village lived a simple farmer who would change everything

His name was Joseph Smith

Ha-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya

Joseph Smith, American Moses!

Praise be to Joseph! American prophet man

Ay! My name is Joseph Smith, and I'm going to fuck this baby!

What?!

No no Joseph! Don't fuck the baby!

Joseph Smith, don't fuck the baby!

Suddenly the clouds parted

And Joseph Smith was visited by God!

Joseph Smith, do not fuck a baby

I'll get rid of your AIDS if you fuck this frog

Ha-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya

Joseph Smith fucked the frog god gave him

And his AIDS went away!

Then a great wizard named Moroni came down from the Starship Enterprise

Joseph Smith! Your village is shit!

You should lead the villagers to a new village

Take these fucking golden plates (away)

And on the plates were written the directions to a new land

Sal Tlay Ka Siti! (Sal Tlay Ka Siti!)

Joseph tried to convince all the villagers to follow him and his golden plates

Liberation! Equality! No more slavery for oopstate Mormon people!

I got de golden plates! (gold plates)

I gunna lead the people! (we head west)

We gotta stick together! (for months)

We gotta help each other! (we will for months)

And so we climb the mountain! (we head west)

And we cross the river (we head west)

And we fight the oppression! (for months)

By being nice to everyone (we are Mormons)

Not so fast Mormons! You shall not pass my mountain!

(Down from the mountain look who comes! The American warman, Brigham Young!

Yes! I am Brigham Young!

I cut off my daughter's clitoris

That made god angry so he turned my nose into a clit for punishment!

(Brigham Young, his nose was a clitoris)

What will you do Joseph? Will you fight the clitoris man?

Not fight him, help him! (oh)

Joseph Smith took his magical fuck frog and rubbed it upon Brigham Young's clit-face

And behold, Brigham was cured!

Joseph Smith! Magical AIDS frog!

Brigham Young, frog on his clit-face!

Brigham Young was so grateful, he decided to join the Mormons and their journey

Compassion!

Courtesy!

Let's be really fucking polite to everyone!

I got de golden plates! (gold plates)

I gunna lead the people! (we head west)

We gotta stick together! (for months)

Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad (oh)

After travelling for so long

The Mormons ran out of fresh water

And became sick, with dysentery

(Water go to the water, water go to the cup

Cup go to the stomach, shit come out the butt

Shit go in the water, water go in the cup

Shit go down the stomach, shit come out the butt)

Oh fuck!

Oh no! The prophet Joseph Smith is now getting sick!

(Shit go in the water, water go in the cup

Cup go to the thirsty, shit go to the stomach

Blood come out the butt

Blood go in the water, water go in the cup

Cup to the the cup

Shit blood in the stomach, shit blood in the mouth

Shit blood on the insides, water come out the butt)

Brigham Young, you must take the golden plates and lead the Mormons to the promise land!

Desperation!

Mortality!

Loss of faith!

Ah, got the golden plates (gold plates)

I gunna lead the people (we head west)?

Even though their prophet had died

The Mormons stuck together

And helped each other

And were really nice to everyone they came across

And then one day, the Mormons finally found

Sal Tlay Ka Siti! (Sal Tlay Ka Siti!)

And then, the Mormons danced with ewoks

And were greeted by Jesus!

Welcome Mormons!

Now, let's all have as many babies as we can

And make big, Mormon families!

Woohoo!

Fuck your woman, fuck your man

It is all part of God's plan

Mormons help God as they can

Here in Salt Lake City land!

Thank you! Thank you

For now we are fucking

Thank you! Thank you

Come god wants us fucking

Thank you! Thank you

But get back to fucking

Thank you! Thank you god!

Joseph Smith fuck frog

Brigham Young clit face

Shit come out the but

Jesus says fuck fuck Mormons