Richard Interred

Elliot

I'm dying! i'm dying!

I told myself this tragedy would have a happy ending

I was lying

I'm trapped before the audience from hell and what

I'm selling they aren't buying

I'm dying! i'm flopping!

I let myself get tricked into appearing

Like some undiscovered gender

A bit of al pacino a lot of

Shirley temple on a bender

Mark

This is brilliant

It's a once-in-a-lifetime achievement

It's a vision that i believe in

It's a seminal work of art

How amazing

This theatrical trail i'm blazing

It's a miracle i created

It's a wonder i was ever underrated

An actor

It's hopeless

Mark

Exciting!

An actor

I should be playing richard

Another actor

If this doesn't work it has to be the lighting

Three actors

I wonder what that sour-looking woman

Sitting on the aisle is writing

Elliot

I'm a flop on off off-broadway

There's my agent; there he goes

Here at last on off off-broadway

And i'm wearing pantyhose

Cast of richard iii

If we run one week i can file for unemployment

If we run one week i can file for unemployment

It's a turkey, like the last time

Think of acting as a pastime

I may never work again

Audience members

It's painfull

Pathetic

The whole first row has slipped into a coma

Someone ought to call a medic

I've had more fun while undergoing

Root canal without an anesthetic

Various actors

This is not respectful silence

They are hostile, tense and bored

And i sense impending violence

Elliot

Well, at least i've got a sword

Audience

If we leave right now

We'll be home in time for "nightline"

If we leave right now

We'll be in time for "leno"

Audience members

Short of having conniption

I may cancel my subscription

I'll be home in time for "studs"

Elliot

I know i can play this part

But no one here will even have a clue

I've the right interpretation

And the proper motivation

But my chance was ruined from the start

I really can play this part

Paula

I'm dying! he's dying!

He looks so misera-bleh and

It breaks my heart to see how hard he's trying

And though i'm pretty bored

He strikes a chord in me

I almost feel like crying

Everyone

This show is so perverse

It can't get any worse

I'd love to disappear

The ending must be near

How much longer can i persevere?

I wish i were anywhere but here

He's killing he's career