I Can do Better Than That

My best friend had a little situation

At the end of our senior year,

And like a shot, she and mitchell got married that summer.

Carolann getting bigger ev'ry minute, thinking

"What am I doing here?"

While mitchell's out ev'ry night, being

A heavy-metal drummer.

They got a little cute house on a little

Cute street with a crucifix on the door

Mitchell got a job at a record store in the mall.

Just the typical facts of a typical

Life in a town on the eastern shore--

I thought about what I wanted,

It wasn't like that at all.

Made carolann a cute baby sweater,

Thinking "I can do better than that."

In a year or so, I moved to the city

Thinking "what have I got to lose?"

Got a room, got a cat, and got twenty pounds thinner.

Met a guy in a class I was taking who

You might say looked like tom cruise

He wouldn't leave me alone 'less I went with him to dinner.

And I guess he was cute, and I guess he

Was sweet, and I guess he was good in bed

I gave up my life for the better part of a year

And so I'm starting to think that this maybe

Might work, and the second it entered my head

He needed to take some time off,

Focus on his "career"--

He blew me off with a heartfelt letter--

I thought,

"I can do better than that."

You don't have to get a haircut,

You don't have to change your shoes,

You don't have to like duran duran,

Just love me.

You don't have to put the seat down,

You don't have to watch the news,

You don't have to learn to tango,

You don't have to eat prosciutto,

You don't have to change a thing,

Just stay with me

I want you and you and nothing but you,

Miles and piles of you--

Finally I'll have something worthwhile

To think of each morning

You and you and nothing but you,

No substitution will do,

Nothing but fresh, undiluted and pure,

Top of the line,

And totally mine!

I don't need any lifetime commitments

I don't need to get hitched tonight

I don't want you throw up all your walls and defenses.

I don't mean to put on any pressure

But I know when a thing is right,

And I spend every day reconfiguring my senses.

When we get to my house, take a look at that town

Take a look at how far I've gone

I will never go back, never look back anymore

And it feels like my life led right

To your side and will keep me there from now on.

Think about what you wanted,

Think about what could be,

Think about how I love you--

Say you'll move in with me

Think of what's great about me and you,

Think of the bullshit we've both been through,

Think of what's past, because we can do

Better!

We can do better!

We can do better than that!

We can do better than that!