Confessions

This is a song called Confessions in three movements

This first movement, the first confession is entitled: Feminism

I believe that women have the right

To walk the streets at night

And not be afraid for their lives

I believe that a woman has the right

To choose what happens to her body

Without suffering the judgement

Of the conservative right

And I believe that women have the right

To wear the clothes she likes

Without being treated like dirt

And I think we, men, are pathetic

How we seem to judge aesthetic

As the measure of a woman's worth

I'm ashamed on behalf of my sex

For making women feel like objects

Fuck I love boobs though, I just really love them

Fuck I love boobs though, I just wanna rub them

They're just so jooby, they make me feel groovy

I would rather watch boobs than a movie

Be doop be doo doop do do doo, I just really love boobs

And this second movement is called

Poverty, open Bracket Altruism

Close Bracket

I believe the people are entitled to basic human rights

Whether they are rich or they're poor

And I believe a world where no children are starving

Is a world worth fighting for

And I try to remind myself

Even when I'm struggling

How incredibly lucky I am

And I don't think it's ok

That the luxuries I crave

Should come at the expense of my fellow man

I'm sure I could do a little more

To alleviate the suffering of the poor

Fuck I love boobs though

I just really love them

I don't really mind if I am behind

Below or above them

They're just so jubbly

They make me feel lubbly

I would rather own boobs than a pub

Be doop be doo doop do do doo

I just really love boobs

The third movement is entitled

Enviromentalism

I believe the that planet we live in

Is a living organism

And we must treat her carefully

I don't think we should assume

We can just go on consuming

Her resources indefinitely

The world's not a bottomless pit

And we can all do our little bit

Fuck I love boobs though

I just really care for 'em

They're equally fun

When they're 21

Or octogenarian

They're just so flappy

They make me feel happy

I would rather eat a boob than a bap

Be doop be doo doop do do doo

I just really love boobs

Evolutionary theory says bosoms are buttock-like protrusions

Designed to tempt men in situations

When they can't get a glimpse of your bums

I find such hypotheses dumb

It's like the one that says

Lipstick is for making your lips look more

Like the lips of a happy vagina

Since they said that

I can't look my great-aunt

In the eye

Why'd they have to say that, oh why?

From the first little suck of colostrum

To the grope of the the nurse in the old people's hostel

We're just fucking monkeys in shoes

And I

Will always love boobs

I will always

Love boobs