Tom Green
Lyric guide

Hey Masterbator

Read Hey Masterbator lyrics by Tom Green on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.

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Page type: lyric reference Artist: Tom Green Canonical path: /tom-green/hey-masterbator Related lyric paths: 6 Video embedded: yes
Lyrics

Hey Masterbator

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OH OH OH !(squishy sound)

Sitting in my house

and i know i'm alone,

Feeling kind'a horny

got a tingle in my bone

Going grab a penthouse

its the one with Sharron Stone,

HEY MASTURBATOR!

I go a little faster

and its feeling kind'a nice

once ain't enough so i have to do it twice

you wanna spank the monkey

I can give you good advice

HEY MASTURBATOR!

*Woman moans*

I use some baby oil

or a lil' vaseline

laying down a towel

so i keep my carpet clean

Never shake my hand

cuz' you don't know where its been

HEY MASTURBATOR!

Im do it in my car

while im driving down the street

One hand on the wheel

and the other on my meat

I can't get out the car

cuz im sticking to the seat

HEY MASTURBATOR!

*Tom Green,a goat and the woman moan*

Since i was a kid

i have been a masturbator

choke the chicken

hold the knob

squezzing the tomato

I flip to miss November

Now im gonna take Raider

HEY MASTURBATOR!

Buffing the banana

Drain the lizard

shake and bake'em

Pounding on the flounder

and its maniaze i'm amakin

Spank the frank

wax the carrot

god my hand its aeching

HEY MASTURBATOR!

*everyone moans*

HEY MASTURBATOR!

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Who performs "Hey Masterbator"?

Tom Green performs "Hey Masterbator", and this lyric page sits inside the Tom Green catalog on LyroVerse.

Are there related songs to explore after "Hey Masterbator"?

Yes. The related section below points to Don't Mess With A Man (After He Takes A Big Poo Poo) and I'm An Idiot with a short reason for opening each page next.

Where can I find more songs by Tom Green?

Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Tom Green's lyric pages.

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