Hey Masterbator
Read Hey Masterbator lyrics by Tom Green on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
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Hey Masterbator
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OH OH OH !(squishy sound)
Sitting in my house
and i know i'm alone,
Feeling kind'a horny
got a tingle in my bone
Going grab a penthouse
its the one with Sharron Stone,
HEY MASTURBATOR!
I go a little faster
and its feeling kind'a nice
once ain't enough so i have to do it twice
you wanna spank the monkey
I can give you good advice
HEY MASTURBATOR!
*Woman moans*
I use some baby oil
or a lil' vaseline
laying down a towel
so i keep my carpet clean
Never shake my hand
cuz' you don't know where its been
HEY MASTURBATOR!
Im do it in my car
while im driving down the street
One hand on the wheel
and the other on my meat
I can't get out the car
cuz im sticking to the seat
HEY MASTURBATOR!
*Tom Green,a goat and the woman moan*
Since i was a kid
i have been a masturbator
choke the chicken
hold the knob
squezzing the tomato
I flip to miss November
Now im gonna take Raider
HEY MASTURBATOR!
Buffing the banana
Drain the lizard
shake and bake'em
Pounding on the flounder
and its maniaze i'm amakin
Spank the frank
wax the carrot
god my hand its aeching
HEY MASTURBATOR!
*everyone moans*
HEY MASTURBATOR!
What this page can answer fast
Who performs "Hey Masterbator"?
Tom Green performs "Hey Masterbator", and this lyric page sits inside the Tom Green catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Hey Masterbator"?
Yes. The related section below points to Don't Mess With A Man (After He Takes A Big Poo Poo) and I'm An Idiot with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Tom Green?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Tom Green's lyric pages.
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