Keep Your Receipts

It seems like only yesterday

When my father sat me down, and said:

"Have a good gig at the Prince Pat tomorrow night."

It was actually this morning

And he got the dates confused

(My Dad... he's a fuckwit! )

I remember another time

When my father sat me down and said:

"The people in the row behind can't see."

I said, "Dad, we're on a bus,

And there's nothing much to see."

And he said,

"The landscape, son. The landscape."

When I reached a certain age

As all the young boys do

My body started changing

I grew another head

I had an operation

And I had that head removed

Which was fortunate 'cause at the time there was a shortage of head donors

My Dad took really good care of me

Sat by my side every day

When I started to recover

Dad told me I was old enough

To hear some of the things he had to say

Hey hey hey

My Dad said

"Son, you've turned out nice

You're old enough to hear my advice

You're a man now

And so I want to tell you what I know

"Son, keep your receipts

Keep your receipts

If money is a cash cow, then planning is the meat,

So son, keep your receipts

Keep your receipts

"Son, keep your receipts

Keep your receipts.

If life's a bog in Ireland, then wisdom is the peat

So son, keep your receipts

Keep your receipts."