Kempt

My life was completely astrous when I met you

(Not "disastrous")

So gruntled with this life I thought I had

(Opposite of "disgruntled")

How could a love so perfect be so vincible?

(Not "invincible")

I could have sworn that you were scrutable

My judgement was so bad

("Bad", opposite of "unbad")

But you were kempt, so kempt

Everything about you was seemly

You were kempt, so kempt

Of course I'd be bedevilled

So gusting and so shevelled

Were you

It started out so wholesome, so pure

(Tell 'em about it...)

We engaged in speakable acts

(Nothing too saucy...)

Although we had hibitions, we were totally toward

(You should have seen it coming)

But I'd always had a tendency to under react

Our love is defunct

When it once was funct

You've debunked all the myths

You had previously bunked

When you were kempt, so kempt

Everything about you was seemly

You were kempt, so kempt

(Of course he'd be bedevilled)

So gusting and so shevelled

Were you

You always seemed so honest and so sidious.

(You were an angel.)

I checked your phone bill, it was full of crepancies.

(Everything was in order! )

But I found out one evening, you'd been creet

(Aha! )

When you and your ex booked a motel, cognito

Your ex! Your ex!

It was a personal attack!

You were going out with prefixes

Behind my back!

(He asked you questions, no more terrogation,

He acted, and he dumped you straight away

You're free, enjoy your newfound carceration)

You're the ex I'd always pected

I'll never member you again

You always derstood me anyway

You sent a bliminal message

By cheating with your ex

But I just think you had

A feriority complex

But anyway, I've found someone else

And she is kempt, so kempt

Everything about her is seemly

She is kempt, so fucking kempt!

Her Christian name is Ingrid

She lets me call her Grid

And she takes off her derpants for me!