White Curtains

Torn between being a child my whole life or the man you need

Cause there’s the easy way out and there’s blood sweat and tears

And I’ll be gone more than I’m home for the next year

And it’ll take everything I have to not stop running

You said it’s never black and white with me

Just lesser truths and shades of grey

What the fuck did you see in me anyway?

An investment never worth the price you paid

For what it’s worth I feel the strain

But I’m too fucking scared of doing the right thing

I’ll never find it in myself

To let someone love you properly

If I saved up the hours that I’ve spent just drowning

Staring out at the empty space from my side of the bed

Well, I’d trade them all and the pictures drawn

In the condensation on my window to see you standing there

Lie to me, tell me you still need me

’Cause I owe that charade

For the only reason I found sleep

In the past three years

And I owe that charade

For the distance I keep

Between me and who I used to be

Torn between being a child my whole life or the man you need

Torn between being a child my whole life or the man you need

If I saved up the hours that I’ve spent just drowning

Staring out at the empty space from my side of the bed

Well, I’d trade them all and the pictures drawn

In the condensation on my window to see you standing there

There’s no shortage of new faces

And so many places I’ve never been

But the one place I keep in my head

Is where the sun shines through your white curtains

And the breeze that lifts them off the wall

And gently wakes me to the world

To an overwhelming familiar smell of home

But I can’t be there for long

And I never wanted to be the one that only lets you down

And a promise that I can keep is my two feet won’t find the ground

But your heart can’t see the damage done when I’m around.