Dennis

She left me for a compulsive liar

She was an impulsive fool

She believed all the nonsense he fed her

Because she’d never done too well at school

She said that I had no ambition

She said that I lacked any drive

I just concentrated on my honesty

And doing enough to stay alive

If you’re feeling down, then I’m sorry

But dennis got his name on a lorry

And that is more than you will ever do

Did you ever stop to think

Through the madness and the drink

That not everything he tells you might be true?

She left me for a politician

They’re not allowed to lie, that’s the law

Frankly, this statement shocked me so much

That I lost all control of my jaw

He revolutionised the fire department

He’s going places, you can go to hell!

After this astonishing outburst

My face followed my jaw, and fell

I know that you think I’m pretending

And you’ve seen his name on a fire engine

But you shouldn’t believe everything he said

I’ve had enough of sparing your feelings;

Even if he’s involved in dodgy dealings

He’s also better in bed.

Hey! Oh.

We were like romeo & juliet

Without the suicide

She was an innocent bonnie

To my law-abiding clyde

We were tragic lovers

But the real tragedy

Is that dennis won her love

And not me.