Dedicated To Christina Li

The first time I went back to homeroom from the hospital

I thought that being more embarrassed was impossible

But God, the second time it really turned my stomach

Now I’m the kid who collapses and then spazzes out in public

This time was a bowling alley, the first was in the yard

And kids in middle school just watched me trip and kicked me hard

Except this girl named Crissie Li, who flips around at her desk

And gives me the world’s biggest Disney card

Wrote “best wishes,” and “kisses” where she signed it

3 feet by 2 feet, I coulda hid behind it

I didn’t like the pity from Christina Li though

I’m thinking “Crissie, can’t you see I’m busy being emo?”

‘Cause I think I mighta heard she maybe sorta liked me

And since she wasn’t cool enough I guess I took it lightly

Had braces and glasses and wasn’t Ms. Popular

And so I didn’t really give a thought to her

A heart breaking sounds like guitar strings snapping

It’s the notes of the song that’ll never happen

And the wind in the leaves is the sound of ghosts clapping

But a heart breaking sounds like guitar strings snapping

There’s holes in my memory - it isn’t photographic

There’s holes in my yearbook but the cut-out folks were plastic

Ten years pass, I don’t cross paths

With half the people from my class again 'til we meet at Crissie’s open casket

Those who chose to ask it probably knew

I could have dug in deeper if I’d wanted to

But you couldn’t tell a thing was off on the surface

And I didn’t know she was sick until I heard about her service

She was born with a heart defect, used to the cold knife

She’d been in and out of hospitals her whole life

She knew the whole time, and never said why

She felt my pain herself and helped me hold my head high

The nicest folks are those who know the throes of crisis

Though I know it’s crime to twist her life to fit my own devices

Why’s it so hard to mourn, and then try to learn by this

But lights that burn shortest

Are the lights that burn brightest

Our 8th grade yearbook page for dedicating songs wasn’t long

Even in a school eleven hundred strong

The yearbook advertised for months, but when it’s said and done

Crissie bought six, the third most of anyone

Alvin got “Your Faith in Me” by Jessica Simpson

Pebbles got Richard Marx’s ballad “At the Beginning”

It feels like sloppy poetry the way her life would end

After sending Mariah Carrey’s “Any Time You Need a Friend"

But corniness is honesty that’s wrapped in cliché

And most slow jam lyrics aren’t shit I’m brave enough to say without a smirk

But before she went to dirt she left us finally

"I Will Remember You” to Geoff, Mike, Bry and me

You can plot if you must

Say it’s obviously fate, or explain that God is just

But all I know is that until my body’s dust

I will try to think of her as much as Crissie thought of us

This one goes out to Christina