Joe's Garage

Central Scrutinizer:

We take you now to a garage in Canoga Park

Larry:

(It makes its own sauce . . . if you add water)

Joe:

It wasn't very large

There was just enough room to cram the drums

In the corner over by the Dodge

It was a fifty-four

With a mashed up door

And a cheesy little amp

With a sign on the front said

"Fender Champ"

And a second-hand guitar

It was a Stratocaster with a whammy bar

Larry:

We could jam in Joe's Garage

His mama was screamin'

His dad was mad

We was playin' the same old song

In the afternoon 'n sometimes we would

Play it all night long

It was all we knew, 'n easy too

So we wouldn't get it wrong

All we did was bend the string like . . .

Hey!

Down in Joe's Garage

We didn't have no dope or LSD

But a coupla quartsa beer

Would fix it so the intonation

Would not offend yer ear

And the same old chords goin' over 'n over

Became a symphony

We could play it again 'n again 'n again

Cause it sounded good to me

ONE MORE TIME!

We could jam in Joe's Garage

His mama was screamin',

"TURN IT DOWN!"

We was playin' the same old song

In the afternoon 'n sometimes we would

Play it all night long

It was all we knew, 'n easy too

So we wouldn't get it wrong

Even if you played it on a saxophone

We thought we was pretty good

We talked about keepin' the band together

'N we figured that we should

'Cause about this time we was gettin' the eye

From the girls in the neighborhood

They'd all come over 'n dance around like . . .

So we picked out a stupid name

Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks

'N we was on our way to fame

Got matching suits

'N Beatle Boots

'N a sign on the back of the car

'N we was ready to work in a GO-GO Bar

ONE TWO THREE FOUR

LET'S SEE IF YOU'VE GOT SOME MORE!

People seemed to like our song

They got up 'n danced 'n made a lotta noise

An' it wasn't 'fore very long

A guy from a company we can't name

Said we oughta take his pen

'N sign on the line for a real good time

But he didn't tell us when

These "good times" would be somethin'

That was really happenin'

So the band broke up

An' it looks like

We will never play again . . .

Joe:

Guess you only get one chance in life

To play a song that goes like . . .

Mrs. Borg:

Turn it down!

Turn it DOWN!

I have children sleeping here . . .

Don't you boys know any nice songs?

Joe:

Well the years was rollin' by

Heavy Metal 'n Glitter Rock

Had caught the public eye

Snotty boys with lipstick on

Was really flyin' high

'N then they got that Disco thing

'N New Wave came along

'N all of a sudden I thought the time

Had come for that old song

We used to play in "Joe's Garage"

And if I am not wrong

You will soon be dancin' to the . . .

Central Scrutinizer:

The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only. If

you gotta load or unload, go to the WHITE ZONE . . .

Joe:

I said the years was rollin' by, yeah

The years was rollin' by . . .

Mrs. Borg:

I'm calling THE POLICE!

Joe:

So the years was rollin' by . . .

Mrs. Borg:

I did it!

Joe:

So the years was rollin' by . . .

Mrs. Borg:

They'll be here . . . shortly!

Joe:

By, by, the years was rollin' by . . .

Officer Butzis:

This is the Police . . .

Mrs. Borg:

I'm not joking around anymore!

Officer Butzis:

Come out!

We have the garage surrounded

Joe:

The years was rollin' by . . .

Officer Butzis:

Give yourself up

We will not harm you

Or hurt you, neither

Joe:

I said the years was rollin' by . . .

Mrs. Borg:

You'll see now!

There they are, they're coming!

Officer Butzis:

This is the Police

Give yourself up

We will not harm you

Joe:

The years was rollin' by . . .

Mrs. Borg:

Listen to that mess, would you!

Officer Butzis:

This is the Police

Give yourself up

We have the garage surrounded

Mrs. Borg:

Every day this goes on around here!

Joe:

The years was rollin' by . . .

Officer Butzis:

We will not harm you

Or maim you

(SWAT Team 4, move in!)

Joe:

The years was rollin' by . . .

Mrs. Borg:

He used to cut my grass . . .

He was a very nice boy . . .

Officer Butzis:

This is the Police

Come out with your hands up

Central Scrutinizer:

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . .

That was Joe's first confrontation with The Law.

Naturally, we were easy on him.

One of our friendly counselors gave him

A do-nut . . . and told him to

Stick closer to church-oriented social activities.